Hell Will Hold No Surprises for You

A quick trip down the highway to hell today with three infernal flicks I’ve caught in the past week or so…

It had been years since I last saw Ken Russell’s The Devils and in the interim I had forgotten what an eyefuck it is. Even beyond Vanessa Redgrave’s madcap turn as a randy nun with a repulsive prosthetic hunchback and Oliver Reed’s sinful-as-a-chocolate-éclair handlebar mustache, the film is just one scene after another of effulgent, gratuitous genius. While most folks would cite Tommy and Women in Love as better films, for my money this movie is Russell’s finest moment.

Oh, sure, the movie’s narrative is a bit of a mess, but given the subject matter, I think it works in Russell’s favor. While every character and their mother is going on about decadence and wickedness, it’s Russell himself that’s committing the real transgression here; from the first frame to the last, The Devils is full-on, joyously blasphemous film-making.

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Speaking of blasphemy, I also had opportunity last week to revisit one my favorite horror comedies. Álex de la Iglesia’s El día de la Bestia (“Day of the Beast”) isn’t as over-the-top as Dead Alive or Evil Dead II and it lacks the lyrical poeticism of Dellamorte Dellamore, but it certainly belongs in that hallowed company for its masterful balance of laughs and horror. There are realtively few ‘shocks’ in El día de la Bestia, but the apocolyptic tone of the film is pervasive and persuasive.  While the genuinely likable characters and performances make this one a delight to watch, its de la Iglesia’s portrait of mid-90′s Madrid as a filthy garbage heap quickly sliding into the incinerator that lingers with me.

The supernatural elements are fun, but it’s that moment when our protagonist, Father Ángel Berriartúa (Álex Angulo), is sitting at a bus stop and he sees a group of men get out of a car across the street and set a homeless man on fire that pushes El día de la Bestia into a whole different weight class. Love this one.

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Of the films I caught lately, though, the real sin against man is  L’ Occhio del male (“Manhattan Baby”), quite easily the single worst Lucio Fulci film I’ve ever slept through.

If you’ve ever seen Fulci’s transcendentally terrible The House By The Cemetery, than maybe you are under the delusion you’ve seen the man’s worst horror film, but rest assured you don’t know the dregs of Fulci’s 80′s output until you’ve watched ineffectual archaeologist Christopher Connelly stumble around with his eyes bandaged under his glasses after getting his corneas zapped by blue laser beams fired out of an ancient Egyptian hieroglyph. I know that does indeed sound awesome in a MST3K-sorta way, but trust me, you’ll be the one wishing your eyes had been disintegrated after 10 minutes with one. I spared myself some of the torment by falling asleep 30 minutes in and scanning over what I had missed at 4X when I woke. Even that felt like an eternity spent in some previously unpostulated level of Hell reserved for Fulci apologists, and this is coming from a guy who owns both City of the Living Dead and The Beyond on DVD.

A Special Announcement

Sorry I’ve been so lax on the blogging front, but things have been hectic ’round these parts. And, alas, they will probably remain so for some weeks to come. On that note, I’d like to introduce the latest member of the Belcher girl gang…

Game of Thrones S1, Ep3 – “Lord Snow”

Short one this week, everyone; the day job is bustling. Too bad, too, because last night’s episode was the strongest yet in many ways…

Game of Thrones S1, Ep2 – “The Kingsroad”

This episode, more than the first, really managed to convey the books’ sense of impending doom. I really got the feeling that these characters are on a long, slow road to despair and we’re going to march with them every step of the way. This tone of futility may be a hard thing to endure episode after episode. I saw someone describe the series as cheerless, and while I think that may be denying the show some its wit and charm, there’s no escaping the fact that this is grim shit and it only gets grimmer. For every triumph (see Dani’s story), there are dozens of crushing blows to the spirit. And yet… and yet…herein lies the crux of the series. In a world that is so obviously mechanized towards grinding down the weak and the unlucky, these characters will struggle and plot and fight until the last breath, and they will cling to hope that somehow justice will ultimately find those who deserve it most. That’s the definition of nobility, right there, and make no mistake – this series is all about nobility in title versus nobility in action and in character. Episode two gets that across in spades.

Game of Thrones, S1, Ep1 – “Winter is Coming”

I often catch myself falling into that trap of “worrying” how civilians might come at something like Game of Thrones, as if it’s important to consider the show without the prejudices or predispositions of having read the books beforehand. This is silly, of course. I can’t erase the knowledge and emotional baggage of having read the books first and, more importantly, there’s no reason on earth I should even try. Beyond its success in the ratings either providing me with more or fewer episodes to watch myself, what is the value in trying to anticipate how a casual HBO viewer might respond to Game of Thrones? The opinions of non-fans can be interesting and even insightful, but trying to taper my own enjoyment or approach to the show by seeing it through freshman eyes doesn’t grant me any better appreciation of its merits…or faults.

Dragon Age II

I’ve played Dragon Age II once all the way through, and I’m nearly done with my second run.

The game has some serious—some would say (and have) fatal—flaws.

1)      The recycled environments are disappointing at first, and gradually move on to being completely distracting. I understand that taking the time to develop fresh environments for some of these quests would have lengthened development time, and the cost-to-benefit ratio was probably deemed too marginal to do so. Still, when every mansion and cave looks exactly the same, it really yanks a fella out of the story.

2)      The new inventory system is for the birds. For me, micro-managing my companions’ armor and weapons was a big draw in the first game, and here the process has been simplified to the point where it feels utterly arbitrary.

3)      Why do potions now require a cool down period? WHY??

4)      The in-game trigger to access doors and chests and obtain loot from fallen enemies is ridiculously touchy, so much so that finding the icon that signifies you can access these things involves making your character do the hokey-pokey for a minute or two before you see the icon letting you know that, yes, you can now get your shit.

5)      The Friend/Rival system seemed really arbitrary in some cases, making appealing to any given companion character’s interests in those situations a guessing game. I had this problem with Mass Effect II’s Paragon/Renegade system as well, for what it’s worth. Sometimes you say something you think will give you some brownie points with Companion X only to see a nice little +5 Rivalry.

6)      There’s a disconcerting disconnect between your character’s appearance and actions versus the reactions you get from NPCs. As an example, my mage saved a Templar from a particularly nasty Abomination using all the wicked magic at my disposal, only to have the Templar turn and remark that we need to keep an eye on mages because “they aren’t like you and me.”

7)      Some of the mini-quests involving collecting items from dead baddies and turning those objects into random folks for cash reward is pretty pointless and ultimately a waste of time.

8)      The final moments of the game do not provide an entirely satisfactory resolution to your time spent as Hawke. After nearly thirty hours questing and killing in Hawke’s boots, I wanted a bit more from the closing coda.

Having said all that…I loved this game. Not as much as I loved Dragon Age: Origins, perhaps, but that game has a really special place in my heart; not since Final Fantasy VII have I had so much invested in a game as I did in Origins. Still, while Dragon Age II is a definite departure in several critical ways, I found it a rich and satisfying experience. The more arcade-style combat was a hoot (particularly if you play as a mage), and while the gameplay is distinctly more like a JRPG (oddly, it reminded me a great deal of Final Fantasy VIII and X) and far less open-world than Origins, the story and world were compelling enough that I never felt it was an inferior beast to its predecessor.

Now, if you want a *really* SPOILER-filled look at the things I enjoyed most about Dragon Age II, feel free to proceed. Be warned: 1) if you have any intention of playing any of the Dragon Age series but have yet to do so, don’t read any further; and 2) this is more of a reaaally long essay than a review, so if you really couldn’t care less about those sorts of things, feel free to be on your way.

Still here? Then damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!

The Walking Dead, S1, Ep6 – “TS-19″

Way back yonder, I compared the pilot for this series to a Frankenstein monster, and that analogy has held true for the entire first season. Each individual scene usually varies in consistency, tone, and strength from the one preceding it and the one to follow (Walking Dead Shuffle, indeed). Sometimes it works, but all too often even those successes have felt more fortuitous than intentional. Episode Five was the first time an episode didn’t feel like it was 44 minutes of scenes shot by three different directors from three different scripts.  On the plus side, the final episode of season one felt like it had a singular creative vision, both in the writing and the direction. Unfortunately, it was a vision by way of Mr. MaGoo. There wasn’t a single memorable shot or sequence in the whole damn thing. The lighting was flat, and the staging was so perfunctory it felt like any directions the actors got came straight out of an IKEA box. And the writing? I was able to overlook the hoary zombie film clichés last week because they were deftly executed, but last night’s episode felt like one of those bad parties where you arrive only to discover the only folks there are the insufferable bores you try to avoid running into at other parties.

The Walking Dead, S1, Ep5 – “Wildfire”

First of all, can I say what a fine job Ernest Dickerson did on this episode? For the first time, I felt this show actually balanced it all in the ways I wanted. This is what I hoped the show would be.

The Walking Dead, S1, Ep4 – “Vatos”

Opening scene: Uh, what is up with the Lifetime movie-of-the-week dialog? Oh, this episode was written by comics’ own Robert Kirkman. Of course, part of how badly that played for me was the fact that both women were so heavily made-up. Who wears lipstick and mascara to go fishing? That said, Kirkman nails how to turn these things around without relying on somebody saying “Isn’t it funny how the women have become the hunters in this new paradigm?”

They did a swell job of making Merle more a force to be reconned with then just a wacko with a snarl and a KKK membership card. The entire ‘hunt for Merle’ aspect of the first half was pretty great. By the time they find the van missing and suspect Merle of the crime, I felt that there was reason to fear this dude.

And, yes, I’m now joining the Merle Will Be The Governor camp, although how he’d amass an army like that in the time frame of the series is a big question-mark. But I’m sure they can tweak that whole scenerio.

“The only reason I got away was because the dead were too busy eatin’ my family.” – As far as dialog, that’s Kirkman at his best right there.

“They took Glenn!” – Funny how one line can add some colors to a character. They’re going out of their way here to make Daryl more reasonable than his brother. Wonder how that dynamic will play out.

Oops, wrong about Ed! Thank god.

Most upsetting part of the conclusion? Carl’s tears. That reaction was the right stuff; we don’t see nearly enough child actors in horror films being allowed to melt down like that.

A strong episode that made me wish Kirkman was writing the whole damn series. Yes, there were at least three of his patent “listen while I drop some nugget of wisdom on you” moments in the episode, but I don’t mind that so much.  It’s shorthand, and not entirely elegant, but it works just fine. Sure as hell beats what Darabont was giving us for characterization in episode two.

This still isn’t “must see” television for me, but it has evolved nicely over the second episode. The horror is still on the weak side (there were some good zombies in that final attack, but the blood letting itself didn’t hit me very hard), and there haven’t been any moments to rival the most haunting shots in the pilot. Still, they’ve got me until the season ends. Let’s see how it plays out.

Other takes:

Sean T Collins

Curt Purcell

The Walking Dead, S1, Ep3 – “Tell It To The Frogs”

Last night’s episode of The Walking Dead was a marked improvement over Episode Two in just about every way. There were fewer zombies to be found, but the ones there were looked better and we finally saw some much needed drama and character development.